wHy Im SORRY

I let my world go a little flat today. I am looking for my old bike pump as we speak.. my disposition will inflate in no time, I have FAITH in the process, in the tools I already have in my toolbox. In my my strong heart, my own sacrifices.

I know better than to give in to self doubt and devisives…

I felt jealous last night… I let it all get under my skin. My pretty skin?! Why did I do that to my pretty skin?

It was all the talking and the not talking and the people I used to call my friends and the places my mind went… well they’re hardly destinations, now are they?

I’m sorry I went from 2-D to 1-D, for even a moment.

Because all the time, even the wind says your name. I found you just now all crumpled up in balled up peice of paper- a project I was working on that felt too small to fit you… and I laugh… because I’m so silly.

I know the answer to the question I have no one left to ask… what did I tell you? Why dont I listen to my own words…

just put it down, stop trying to make it perfect. Just put yourself in it and revisit it. From beginning to end. Let it sink in.

Here I am sinking…

Last night my voice didnt fail me… I put all of us in it. I was not half bad, and better ( I think) than the others who shared a spoken word. I know, I know… I am still such a huge nerd. 🙂

I’m sorry for making myself too small to stand next to you today… I wont let that happen again.

I’m sorry I let myself get in the way… I am glad it wasnt for a whole day. but even a part of my day  is more than I can take…   it wont happen again… I believe in what I  know is true….

“The Hi-hello-how-are-you?’s. The I’m-fine-and-you?’s. The slight nod of the head. The threads that bind you to everyone else. It’s coded language for a constant reassurance.
“I’m alive. You’re alive too.”

Now that I am here present in my life again.. and my skin is beginning to glow again, let’s just start over.. with

My post a day challenge is going better than I thought.  and… I am pleased.

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