Flyin My Freak Flag High

I once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith. And you would cleverly ask me, What’s the name of his other leg? Ba-dum-dum. There it is. My nerd is out again. For those who aren’t familiar, I am sure this will come as HUGE surprise to you. I am a huge dork. I mean it. I wore a tee-shirt through my entire ninth grade year that said ‘Save the Children’ it was neon, had pink and orange and green writing on it, and I loved it. I wouldn’t wear make-up. Yea, I don’t know what was the deal is with that even now. It didn’t last long, by 16 I was a member of bonne belle lip gloss club, now I am not just a member I could hold conferences on the merits of each different brand, the good the bad, and even the “CINDY”! That girl who is not a nerd, is a complete freak on wheels and I love her for it, has a deep addiction to lip gloss- but only really the frosty pinks. She has a very fair complexion, and fabulous red hair so it works for her, and has probably since 1988. (ok and seriously honey I love you like a fat kids loves cake). I never rocked blue eye shadow, just wasn’t a child a of the 80’s so I missed all the great nerd-dom of jelly bracelets, and coke-a-cola swatches. I was this odd ball girl. Really, really odd. I still am. Except I have lifetime subscription to the Boys’ club now. Discovered Abba, and make up, and recently thanks to a great friend a love for all things related to Rick Springfield. Yea, he’s my dad’s age- but he can still rock, even after a hip replacement surgery, and a bottle of Viagra. Ok seriously, if you’re reading this Cindy I love you and him. You’re both great. But, come on! I grew up Smashing Pumpkins, Trent- need I say more, Trent baby what the hell happened to you I loved you, I laid in bed at 17 thinking of you as your murderous rage rock played over me. I remember the Kurt Cobaine died day, the way my mom remembers Kennedy. I also really liked Bob Dylan, still do. I blame this on the biggest nerd I know. My dad. Great guy! Huge dork.

I’m older now, and I discovered something I wish I could go back and tell my freaky, slightly unhinged 15 year old self. It’s totally fine. You’re a freak fly your flag with pride. Everyone is nerdy. And as you age the script is flipped, isn’t it? Nerd is cool. Who the hell knew that would happen?

So speaking of Smith’s and nerds! Last night as I realized how much fun I am having blogging about my experiences, I went on a cookie run. Yep. Something happens after dinner at my house, the snack-attacks will get the best of us Cheeney’s and we follow a honing device to the nearest Smith’s grocery store and make a B-line to the cookies. There they are. And I am there with them. And it’s great. So I got my fix. Usually my fix is an oatmeal/nut/chocolate chip combination. But sometimes it is hot tamales candies, and thanks to Cindy , milk duds. Yea she’s an evil chocolate genius, but I digress. We will spend a lot of time of the subject of food as I go on. But today, I am only sharing the snack attack because it led me to the biggest nerd of the day award. Which I am proud to announce I didn’t win. Not even close.

The Biggest Nerd of the Day award is presented to a guy at the checkout at Smith’s on 4100 South and 5600 West in west Valley City Utah. His name is Paul, and I did get his permission to talk about him on facebook. Seriously. I asked. He’s totally cool with me using his name and wait til you see the picture I took of him! So Paul, who is a nice enough 20 something, near teenage dirt bag, has many tattoos. Also a lot of acne, and probably one of those vegan footwear rocking, chubby chic girlfriends, who because she loves 7-11 nachos, and Doritos, and mountain dew so much, they had to make a slurpee flavor just for her girls who loves him. Trust me, he is totally the type. I did start with, nice guy, right? Well he is. And I believe us freaks must stick together. Today Smith’s Marketplace in WVC, tomorrow the world. Or something like that. Anyway he won my nerd-alert award because he has shaggy hair, is carrying a lot more than a six- pack, and has the coolest nerdy tattoos I have ever seen. Paul, and his super cool tattoos told me the concept behind them was something about Nintendo beating out Pac-Man. Gamers, and geeks of the world All Hail The Coolest Nerd of the Day: PAUL. Cute kid who helped me and my evening snack attack. Thanks Paul. You’re a big dork, and I salute you.

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